从那以后，看起来总是有两个想法在我里面征战，并且随着年岁增加而不断增长，一个为艺术，另一个——服侍我已经献身的主的强烈渴望。
在1885年初，仍然是我20岁那年，我开始祷告如果主希望我走进婚姻，祂会领我过一个完全地献上并侍奉祂的生活。我别无它求。这年六月的一个主日，一个陌生人顶替了洪·S·H布莱克（Hon. S. H. Blake），我们的圣经课老师。这个陌生人，就是亨利•奥布莱恩（Henry O’Brien）先生，来找我讨论赞美诗的事情，因为我是管风琴手。三天之后，将有两大队人会在同一条船上过河。一队，是一群艺术家野餐队，前往尼亚加拉大瀑布；另一队，是前往尼亚加拉湖召开圣经会议。我在前一队人中间，但我的心径却直随着另外一队，显然地，他们将会享受属灵盛会的美好时光。那天晚上，所有人都乘同一条船回来，另外还添了一个会议组，就是乘中午的船过来的。
我正坐在艺术家的圈子中，在我兄弟F·M·贝尔-史密斯（F. M. Bell-Smith）旁边。亨利•奥布莱恩先生碰了我一下说，“喂，我上个主日的管风琴手！下周六我们有布道会，你正是我想要邀请加入的那个人。我们将召开一个工人会议，还有茶会，我想让你见见他们所有人。”我几乎要说这不可能的，我的兄弟开始向我耳语，“你没有时间，你要去英格兰。”部分原因，为了向他显示我可以随我喜爱，想做什么就做什么——一件极小的事就能改变一生的方向——我对奥布莱恩先生说，“非常好；星期六等我。”
奥布莱恩先生转身离开的时候，他发现一个在我看来衣衫褴褛的人，并叫住他，介绍说他叫“约拿单·古约翰，我们的城市传教士。”不过我把他破旧的衣衫已然抛诸脑后，因他的眼里充满一种坚毅的挑战。
接下来的星期六，我在多伦多联合宣教团（Toronto Mission Union）的巨大的，方形工人场地里。椅子靠墙摆着，中间是空出来的。就在会议即将开始的时候，约拿单·古约翰被叫了出来。他和我之间隔着一个角落，中间有好几个人的座位。当他站起身来，把他的圣经放在椅子上。之后发生的事我完全没法解释，也不想找借口。刹那间，我感到简直是被催逼着跨过去，穿越四五个人，带上那本圣经回到我的座位。我迅速地翻动书页，看到这本书破旧不堪，几乎要碎成几块，每一页都做满了标记。合上圣经，我迅速地放归了原处，然后回到自己的座位上。我故作天真，好像没有任何事情。一切都在片刻之间发生。但我一坐定，便对自己说：“这，就是那个我非他不嫁的人！”
英文原文：
From that time, andincreasingly as the years passed, there seemed to be two elements contestingwithin me, one for art, the other——anintense longing to serve the Master to whom I had given myself.
In the early part of1885, when still in my twentieth year, I began to pray that if the Lord wantedme to live the married life, he would lead to me one wholly given up to Him and to His service. I wanted no other. OneSunday in June, of that year, a stranger took the place of the Hon. S. H.Blake, our Bible-class teacher. This stranger, Mr. Henry O’Brien, came to meabout the hymns, as I was organist. Three days later, two large parties werecrossing the lake on the same boat, one, an artists’ picnic, bound for theNiagara Falls, the other, bound for the Niagara-on-the-Lake Bible Conference. Iwas with the former group, but my heart was right with the others who wereevidently having a wonderful time of spiritual conference. That evening, allreturned on the same boat with the addition of a conference group who hadcrossed on the mid-day boat.
I was sitting in theartist circle, beside my brother, F. M. Bell-Smith, when Mr. Henry O’Brientouched me, saying, “Why,you are my organist of Sunday last! You are the very one I want to join us inthe Mission next Saturday. We are to have a Workers’ meeting and tea, and Iwould like you to meetthem all.” I was on the point of saying this was impossible, when my brotherwhispered, “You have no time. You are going to England.” Partly. to show him I could do as I pleased——whata trifle can turn the course of a life——I said to Mr. O’Brien, “Very well; expect me on Saturday.”
As Mr. O’Brien turnedto leave, he spied, andcalled to one who looked to me to be a very shabby fellow, whomhe introduced as “Jonathan Goforth, our City Missionary.” I forgot the shabbiness of his clothes however, for the wonderful challenge in his eyes!
The followingSaturday found me in the large, square, workers’ room of the Toronto MissionUnion. Chairs were set all around the walls, but the centre was empty. Just asthe meeting was about to begin, Jonathan Goforth was called out. He had beensitting across the corner from me with several people between. As he rose, heplaced his Bible on the chair. Then something happened which I could neverexplain, nor try to excuse.Suddenly, I felt literally impelled to step across, past four or five people,take up the Bible and return to my seat. Rapidly I turned the leaves and found theBook worn almost to shreds in parts and marked from cover to cover. Closing theBook, I quickly returned it to the chair, and returning to my seat, I tried tolook very innocent. It had all happened within a few moments, but as I satthere, I said to myself, “That is the manI would like no marry!”
原文发表于2020年09月01日
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